The 10 Really Crappy Internet Marketing Ploys
Dear Internet Marketing Gurus and Guru Wannabees;
Your faithful followers have finally had enough of being treated like crap. We resolve to know longer put up with the following sins of the Gurus
- Launches that don’t start on time… If you say the doors will open at 3PM EST, we expect the doors to open at 3PM EST on the day in question not 1PM EST three days later. When you give us a time, we plan accordingly. If you can’t respect that our time is valuable, why should we give it to you? Don’t tell me your servers crashed, all that tells me is that you were not properly prepared.
- The “One-Time-Offer” combined with the “Up-Sell” and the “Down-Sell” and the fake sense of urgency. Enough Already, one additional offer is nice, but no one wants to wade through 16 full long form sales letter just to get your “FREE” stuff.
- The Long-form Sales Letters – Yes, we know these work and yes, there are some great ones that are actually worth the full read, but 99% of these are crap. We are tired of the same old testimonies of people fresh from being pumped up at your latest seminar and/or testimonies from your “good ole boys” network who have not even tried the product. NO more little yellow boxes of bogus testimonies! And in case you didn’t know… 99% of us read the headline and then scroll to the bottom to see how much money you are trying to get us to cough up.
- The insulting “No Thanks” button to all those upsells, downsells and OTO’s. Stop insulting us with the “I realize this is the one and only time I will be offered this amazing offer so I must be an Idiot to pass on this amazing offer but I’m still going to pass on this amazing offer and I promise not to hold my best buddy Guru Whatever at fault for my own stupidity of passing on this amazing offer” buttons. If you must put the extras in, at least let us just say No Thanks without having to admit to being an idiot.
- Poor Customer Service - There is no excuse for poor customer service. Every request should be answered within 24 hours. Every guarantee honored regardless of circumstances and refunds should be made just as fast as when you took our money.
- The Good Buddy Sham – If I hear one more Guru Wannabee Affiliate feed me an email with a “My good buddy” line, I’m going to puke.
- Email – I’m sick of being bombarded by 20 emails a day hawking the same products. Thanks to Gmail’s filtering feature, all my emails from 90% of the Gurus now bypass my inbox and go straight to trash. Those who have proven to be ethical and treat me with respect, I follow on Twitter and will look at everything they have to offer. Oh, and by the way, we do notice when all the wannabees copy the latest Frank Kern headline for their own emails.
- “Top” Gurus who promote garbage – I don’t get why anyone who has worked hard to get to the top level of any profession would want to promote spam and or garbage products. (ie..bogus health products, marketing products that are outdated, etc.). Your reputation should be more important than the short term cash rewards. Maybe you need to look up the word “Integrity” again in the dictionary.
- Fair Weather Twitter Friends – A couple weeks before the latest launch, you show up on Twitter being uber friendly, like the new car salesman that shows up the minute you walk into the dealership… after you’ve finished the launch, you disappear just as quickly as that car salesman after the sale only to return again a few weeks before the next launch.
- Poor Quality Products – Back in 2004 you got away with poor quality video, misspelled sales copy and garbled low grade audio, but this is 2009 and we expect quality in the delivery of information as well as, quality in the information. We want the step by step in a format that can be followed, not just the theories, and yes, we are willing to pay for quality.
We may have put up with some of this crap in the past, but now that we’ve seen a launch done right by Frank Kern and what customer service should be from our friends at Noble Samurai, let me just say …. WE AIN’T GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE!
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13 comments
Brent Hodgson says:
January 20, 2009 at 8:12 pm (UTC -5 )
Thanks Karen – I’m glad that we’re doing something right
onna says:
January 24, 2009 at 6:03 pm (UTC -5 )
Karen-This is great!! You really make me laugh!! So true what you have said!! I look forward to reading your uncensored thoughts!!
Sheryl Loch says:
January 28, 2009 at 5:30 am (UTC -5 )
That’s right – What she said!!
You tell em how to handle business!
We won’t take it anymore!
Get out the whip!
Wow, So glad that you are My Good Buddy!
Brian D. Hawkins says:
February 22, 2009 at 4:32 pm (UTC -5 )
Hey Karen I love this post. Can I add another?
How about the insulting ‘I made a mistake’ lies? They use this transparent method to send out multiple emails about the same methods.
– Oops, I made a mistake.
– Correction, new link enclosed
– Oh yea, I forgot something
– Sorry, My bad
– Forgive me, I’m an idiot.
Do they think they are so much smarter than everyone else that no one will see through the silly ploys. Just a bunch of mindless sheep, that’s how smart they are!
Sorry, you got me going for a second lol
Brad West says:
February 22, 2009 at 5:17 pm (UTC -5 )
Fantastic post Karen, I read this before and never commented I don’t know why, No excuse comes to mind, Just bad customer service I suppose.
There have been a few similar posts that I have replied to recently, one of them is on our friend Brian from ExtermeEzine The Truth Hurts
Awesome to connect all these rants I am going to Link another comment from there to over here.
Love to Rant
Brad West ~ onomoney
Steve says:
February 26, 2009 at 7:20 am (UTC -5 )
Sadly nothing changes.
Look at all the gurus who promoted Arbitrage Conspiracy.
Eban Pagan ( sat in front of a camera and said He’d actually be using the system and promoting CPA Offers – yeah right…..)
John Reese
Frank Kern
Mike Filsaime
Jeff Walker
Joel Comm
David Vallieries
Brad Fallon (Who basically was the front man for promoting)
This is just scratching the surface of who promoted…..But they all did. They all got in front of a camera and gave their souls to promote the product.
The poor souls who dumped 2k on the product at the beginning of January ( when the economy was getting real ) , I feel for them.
If you start to look at the discussions of the people who actually bought, it’s a huge MESS, HUGE! The entire training session has been them pimping back-end expensive products costing more money. The training is outdated and actually HURTING the people using the techniques they are teaching.
The sad thing is , a million people are ready to trust every one of these guys at the drop of a dime when there are people like you out there…
So while you may not take it, there’s a lineup of people ready to take whatever they say as gold.
Chris says:
March 22, 2009 at 3:23 pm (UTC -5 )
You forgot the crappiest ploy of all: people whining about marketing.
NASCAR Shop Scott says:
March 31, 2009 at 11:30 pm (UTC -5 )
Amen! I’m tired of having to set up a new E-Mail address every six months because the more I try to opt out, the more E-Mail messages I receive.
A lot of these people I used to respect until I saw them ALL promoting the same exact launches like it was the second coming.
And, you are absolutely right; just tell me the price up front, so I don’t need to skip to the end. If I can afford it, I’ll read on!
| Pretty Girls Forum says:
January 4, 2010 at 7:27 am (UTC -5 )
When I first got into Internet marketing, I felt completely overwhelmed until I came across several articles on the internet about the basics of Internet Marketing. I broke down what I should be doing and how to get started with the Internet marketing basics instead of assuming I knew how to find keywords or how to set up a website.
Jackie says:
January 22, 2010 at 5:54 pm (UTC -5 )
(Applause)
Thank god someone has said this!!
I couldn’t agree more.
I’ve worked with one of these “gurus”. I can tell you they are full of s**t.
One guy I personally worked with, (Person A) took two peoples extensive knowledge (People B and C) and marketed it as his own. Person B and C got dumped when the other guy saw something “better” come along. It was disgraceful.
Person A dumped Person B and C, and then advertised that he had “all the secrets”. He then hooked up with another internet guru wanker and they formed a duo.
Nobody has ever heard of person B and C. And they are the real heroes.
As I was Persons A’s best “student” I was offered to appear on tv, radio, on stage, etc, telling everyone how Person A’s system was the best, how it changed my life, how I was lost but now I’m found, rah, rah.
TV? And promote Person A’s unethical treatment of others?
Become a puppet to suit someone elses needs?
What The F**K? I felt like I’d been transported to the Twilight Zone; trapped in a nightmare and couldn’t get out.
I watched this unethical behavior unfold before my very eyes. I was disgusted by it.
I told person A told ram it up his butt.
I really can’t stand “Gurus” now. Anyone that says that are an internet marketer who’s made a million dollars and I’m in idiot for not buying their s**t, screams of unethical practices and lies.
I’ve been online doing business for 5 years now and been very successful. Yes, I’ve made a lot of money, but that’s no ones business and I certainly don’t have the lack of integrity to go shouting it from the rooftops.
No one knows my real name and I like the privacy. If my customer doesn’t buy I don’t call them an idiot for not “seeing the light”.
That behavior is just down right abusive.
I wish them a great day and if I can help them in the future then I would love to. Other than that, I still respect people, even though they do not buy.
The first rule of business, in my experience, is respect people.
The second; BE REAL.
Its worked for me.
ojanogeb says:
February 6, 2010 at 8:03 am (UTC -5 )
thx karen , i’m learning more from your post
josh kerbel says:
July 19, 2010 at 8:28 am (UTC -5 )
I love people who refer to themselves as gurus………..
Carson says:
April 21, 2011 at 6:19 am (UTC -5 )
Really? Thanks for the tips. That’s why they are called gurus because they know their way around up to the point of manipulating the ignorants. May you write more about this topics.
Carson
MyBlog:changingpadbaby.com